I don't think Blogger's going to even post this stupid entry, but we'll see what happens. I just feel so shitty right now. It's amazing how I always seem to feel this way at school--I guess that's why everyone here thinks I'm so depressed or whatever. I hate haveing two extreme emotions; happiness and sadness, always switching between the other, never letting people see that I'm more than just one thing. It's just so frustrating. Some people think I'm totally happy and carefree, and others think I'm a depressed aloof goth. Why can't I just have a stupid balance, for God's sake?? What's with the no balance thing??
I don't know why I'm so frustrated right now--it's just that I get a comment from somebody sometimes that totally throws me off base. I never thought they thought of me that way, whether good or bad. Someone says that I'm always happy, and that surprises me; someone is surprised to see me happy, and I'm surprised. Am I really that two-sided? Why am I one way to some people and another way to other people?
I didn't even realize I was separating my emotions like that. I guess that's why I've been having those damn heart problems. I feel like my hearts about to explode right now.
That's all of my rant right now, I guess. Please disregard this--I had to let off some steam, and my diary's gotten pretty full. And if anyone thinks I'm being ridiculous or that I'm trying to get attention, I swear to God I'll shoot them.
That wasn't pointed to anyone in particular. I apologize if it sounded like it was.
Je t'ai croisée
Un samedi soir
Et j'ai jeté sur ta silhouette
Une poignée d'épices colorées
Mon but était clair
T'envoûter
Tout en restant
Libre-moi et libre-toi
Car le roi de l'amour
N'a plus besoin d'esclaves
Adieu, adieu la nuit
Adieu tristesse, adieu les larmes
Je ne suis plus celui
Que tu as connu, plus le même
Ô bel enfant
Qui a tant pleuré
Adieu tout est fini
Adieu les larmes, adieu la nuit
Et le soleil de minuit a brillé pour nous
Jusqu'à l'arrivée du jour
Alors nous nous sommes séparés
Comme déjà saturés des délices du futur
Et j'ai marché seul
Guidé par ton ombre
J'ai traversé la ville déserte
Encore étincelante
Du voyage des rêveurs
Je t'ai croisé un samedi soir
Et déjà j'aimais l'odeur de ton rire
Et le soleil de minuit a brillé pour nous
Jusqu'à l'arrivée du jour
