There was a prayer service for Michael at Our Lady of Lourds today. It was very nice; we prayed the rosary first and Adoration second. The whole thing lasted until about 3:30. Aunt Liz wasn't there once more because she didn't feel like she could get through it without crying. I know Mr. Miles was crying; I could hear him behind me when we were praying the rosary. I hope the service helped.
You know, whenever somthing bad happens, I found that I don't blame God for it like a lot of people do. Not that I'm some saint or anything--but I just realized that. What I do instead is just kind of get into an emotional suspended animation for awhile. I just wait and see what happens, but I don't really feel anything for some time. It'll hit me every now and then, and I'll cry, but then the emotion just melts away, and I feel sort of . . . empty. Hollow.
It gets really annoying sometimes.
Lauren said she was going to put up a new layout on my blog for me, but she wants to keep it a surprise. I just have to figure out a theme, and then she'll put it up. Problem is, I don't know what to use as a theme this time. I was thinking about doing a Hiei theme again, but I don't know. Any suggestions?
The only problem with typing in my blog is that it keeps me from writing in my diary sometimes. I don't really know why that is; I guess I just don't like repeating myself. I'm a little over halfway through it now, and then I'll have to buy a new one. It would be my . . . ::counts:: seventh diary. The first five are completely full and safely tucked away in my bottom drawer. I usually keep my current one with my sketchbook and song book. I have to write everything that happens in my life down or else I'll forget it.
I'm kind of sick right now, so I hope I get over it soon. I really haven't felt this way in a long time.
Je t'ai croisée
Un samedi soir
Et j'ai jeté sur ta silhouette
Une poignée d'épices colorées
Mon but était clair
T'envoûter
Tout en restant
Libre-moi et libre-toi
Car le roi de l'amour
N'a plus besoin d'esclaves
Adieu, adieu la nuit
Adieu tristesse, adieu les larmes
Je ne suis plus celui
Que tu as connu, plus le même
Ô bel enfant
Qui a tant pleuré
Adieu tout est fini
Adieu les larmes, adieu la nuit
Et le soleil de minuit a brillé pour nous
Jusqu'à l'arrivée du jour
Alors nous nous sommes séparés
Comme déjà saturés des délices du futur
Et j'ai marché seul
Guidé par ton ombre
J'ai traversé la ville déserte
Encore étincelante
Du voyage des rêveurs
Je t'ai croisé un samedi soir
Et déjà j'aimais l'odeur de ton rire
Et le soleil de minuit a brillé pour nous
Jusqu'à l'arrivée du jour
