28.6.02
mood: Disturbed and shaken
music: "Running Out of Pain" by 12 Stones


Oh God, I actually had a nightmare last night. I haven't had a nightmare in literally five years, but this one really got to me.

From the Pages of Cat's Dream Journal

The Morning of June 29, 2002

I'm standing in this large, dark neighborhood, the road made of uneven smooth stones. There is this man talking to me, but I see him nowhere, and I only hear him in my head. He's telling me which house I should go into as I am looking at each one. Most of the houses have a soft, eerie orange-red glow coming from their windows while the smaller houses are dark. The house that the man is trying to get me to go into has a soft green glow protruding from its windows, and it is also the largest house I've seen. I feel intimidated by it, and then look over at a long stretch of roadway toward my left ahead of me located in the center of the neighborhood. "Why don't I just go over there?" I ask the voice in my head. "Because," he begins, but I make my way onto the roadway and begin to walk down it. Just as I reach the center, I feel heavier, and everything seems to be going in slow motion. I finally stop and begin to walk back after realizing that I am no longer progressing. "There is nothing there," VIMH finishes. I look around again. Everything is so dark, nearly pitch-black, and I feel alone, but I listen to VIMH's direction and enter the large house.

The first room I enter looks like my grandmother's living room, but not quite. Everything is dark, and furniture is trashed all over the floor in large and small splintered pieces, like something had attacked. I begin to get an uneasy feeling like there is something there, but I look around anyway. I begin to hear noises coming from upstairs, which really begins to scare me; I have no idea on what could be in this house. I discover a small, black cordless telephone that had a short, thick antenna and vertical-stripe carving design, with the speaking end ringed in more carvings on a small table on the left side of the room. I pick it up and put it to my ear, expecting to hear the ringing of a telephone--but instead I hear VIMH's voice coming from it, but I can't understand the first few things he says. Then the connection becomes clearer, and I find that he is telling me to do certain things, like explore certain rooms ar retrieve an item. I am surprised at first, so I don't ask any questions and explore the house a little more. It's not known how long I did this or how many times I called at this point, as it is just a blur to me. I find Lauren at one point, she being totally oblivious as to what is going on. She is then gone from the picture as fast as she was there, so it makes me wonder if she was merely a figment of my imagination. I find Heather in one of the dark rooms upstairs, so be go back to the den upstairs--large, trashed, and with a long, gold-colored table near the back wall--so I can consult VIMH again; this time, I was curious about a few things. He's shown no emotion while talking to me, not anger, impatience, or happiness. I finally begin to ask him questions--why am I here? Where am I? Who is he? Why is he telling me to do these things? He is slightly taken aback by the questions, but answers some of them with answers I don't understand, like "No" for "why am I here?". I realize he is intentionally not answering my questions correctly, so I begin to get very upset and scared. "Who are you??" I screamed into the phone despretely for every time I repeat it. "Who are you?? WHO ARE YOU??". He doesn't answer, and all I hear is silence. Knowing he is no longer there, I hang up the phone in resignation. Heather, who had been staring at me the whole time I was on the phone, says "I don't want to be here anymore," and I agree.

Later, Heather vanishes as quickly as Lauren had, so I am alone once more. The darkness and all the noises scare me to death, and I am still expecting to run into a ghost or corpse. That last talk with VIMH helps me to realize a few things; I believe that VIMH used to be in this neighborhood alone like I am now, but never made it out. Now that I am here, he is trying to direct me to do things he needed to do. I don't necessarily believe he is trying to help me, but I just don't know anything about him.

Suddenly, I am in a different house--one that looks similar to my own, but certain things are different, and it is once again dark, but not pitch black. It also isn't trashed like the first house I was at was. I discover Lauren and Kristen there almost immediately, and they find what an emotional wreck I am. I have been guided through a house by a man I know nothing about but still following his orders through a large, trashed, pitch-black house by a mysterious tiny black phone. They decide to help me, so they gather some equipment and begin to search around the second floor with me. The things and furniture seem to shift and transform into different things every now and then, which I find to be very strange. We find the tiny black phone in a room in the far left corner on a normal white phone. I pick it up and put it to my ear. Once again, VIMH's distorted voice comes through at first, just like in every call I get from him, but then clarity and more patient orders and advice. Still frightened about knowing nothing about this man and that he could just send me to my death at any time, I look around more with my siblings, deathly afraid that one of them might get caught by something or killed.

I am suddenly on the roof of a tall business building that is still in the neighborhood. In front of me is a person with bluish-green skin and no hair. He looks almost in pain. He says something to me, something threatening, but is cut off by an attack by another creature. The attacker looks similar to his prey, but his skin is a dark green with scales, still with no hair,but a small white and red spiral is above his left eyebrow. The first thing that comes to mind when I see him is VIMH, but I am not sure if it is really him or not. The green-skinnned one leaps off of the other and begins to attack me. I try to get away, and he is once again destracted by the other prey. I stare out into the horizon, avoiding seeing their brawl, and I run to the side of the building and leap off to get away. I fall helplessly for a bit, then land on a fire escape made of cement. I look to my left and find the green-skinnned creature with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for me with a smirk.

I leap off the fire escape and begin to run when he attacks me. All I can think of is not wanting to be here, never wanting to be here, and having to find a way out of this damned pitch-black neighborhood as fast as I could. The chase is distorted to me now, but I do recall finding the exit of the neighborhood and escaping.

It looks like it is early morning, and the land is shaded in sleepy blue hues. To the left and ahead of the exit is a large, blue-shaded hill, where I find my entire family. I am so happy and relieved to see them I begin to cry. I just can't believe I am out.

The next day, I talk to a woman I vaguely know, and she is curious about the center road. She is certain that it leads somewhere, so she, Lauren, and I decide to go back and find out. The woman and Lauren get into the front seats of a small yellow truck, and I sit in the back. We begin to drive to the neighborhood. Everything in the normal town I am at is wet, as if it had rained the previous night. We draw closer to the still-pitch-black neighborhood. The reason I had decided to go back is to about that center road, but I also want to find out about VIMH and who he is. I feel a certain connection with him, like a bond, that I want to look into, so I want to speak to him again. We draw even closer to the neighborhood.


:Notes:VIMH is an acronym for "Voice in My Head" that I made up to distinguish the man without having to write "Voice in My Head" all the time. His real name was never discovered in the dream.
Every single direction I look into that is mentioned is the left--the endless road, the phone, seeing the green-skinned creature before the chase, the hill, even the direction we turn into to go into the neighborhood. It makes me wonder if it means anything.
Strangely enough, following the end of the dream was the time the dream began, making the dream last from 4:00am to 10:30 am.
I woke up with "Running Out of Pain" by 12 Stones in my head.

The dream is scarier when you're actually in it, of course--it was mainly that feeling of helplessness, loneliness, and paranoia that made it so terrifying for me. I wish I knew more about VIMH though; maybe I'll dream part 2 soon.

Unknown at 1:43 PM


  ¢ prénom:  Catherine
  ¢ âge:  Twenty-One
  ¢ berceau:  Raleigh, NC
  ¢ en ce moment:  Georgia
  ¢ poste:  crudesunlight {at} gmail {dot} com
  ¢ préféré:  Knitting, singing, playing guitar,
     writing music, collecting vinyls


amigone
Boredom Incarnate
Fantasyscape
Inner Voice
Mososo Kruppe!
Razored Wings
The Seraph's Atelier


  ¢ StarSpine Hoodie
  ¢ Gold Pullover
  ¢ Coupling


Je t'ai croisée
Un samedi soir
Et j'ai jeté sur ta silhouette
Une poignée d'épices colorées
Mon but était clair
T'envoûter
Tout en restant
Libre-moi et libre-toi
Car le roi de l'amour
N'a plus besoin d'esclaves

Adieu, adieu la nuit
Adieu tristesse, adieu les larmes
Je ne suis plus celui
Que tu as connu, plus le même
Ô bel enfant
Qui a tant pleuré
Adieu tout est fini
Adieu les larmes, adieu la nuit

Et le soleil de minuit a brillé pour nous
Jusqu'à l'arrivée du jour
Alors nous nous sommes séparés
Comme déjà saturés des délices du futur
Et j'ai marché seul
Guidé par ton ombre
J'ai traversé la ville déserte
Encore étincelante
Du voyage des rêveurs

Je t'ai croisé un samedi soir
Et déjà j'aimais l'odeur de ton rire
Et le soleil de minuit a brillé pour nous
Jusqu'à l'arrivée du jour

~Arthur H 

 
 Music
  ¢ Arthur H
  ¢ Blackfield
  ¢ Camille
  ¢ The Dissociatives
  ¢ Eisbrecher
  ¢ -M-
  ¢ Megaherz
  ¢ Nine Inch Nails
  ¢ Oomph!
  ¢ Porcupine Tree
  ¢ Silverchair
  ¢ Steven Wilson HQ
  ¢ Tweaker

 Other Links
  ¢ Craftster
  ¢ EML Studio
  ¢ Feministe
  ¢ Girls Read Comics
  ¢ Marnie Maclean
  ¢ Pandemian
  ¢ PostSecret
  ¢ Rainbow Parcel
  ¢ Stumptuous
  ¢ Tom and Lorenzo
  ¢ TWoP
  ¢ VG Cats
  ¢ Yarn Harlot
  ¢ You Knit What Part 2


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